I originally wrote this May 13, 2011...that was a time when satan had by all appearances destroyed my marriage but Praise God, he did not have the last word. We divorced December 27, 2010 and were remarried September 2, 2011 so this post was right in the middle of that time. It was a time of truly brokeness for me. One day I will post about all that...it will take a while. This post was before MS and Jacob's autism diagnosis so it was a great reminder for me as I found it today.
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Life is just so hard sometimes. It seems things are fine and progress is being made and then it all changes in a matter of seconds. As I ponder this and try to comprehend things, I realize there is really no way to make sense of it all. There is no way to make sense of it because it is a spiritual battle, one that can only be seen when looked at in light of eternity. The powers of darkness lay in wait for that moment when they can reek havoc in such a way to bewilder, wound and render ineffective those who are seeking God's will. If I can just take hold of the words from Romans 8, I will not allow any ground to the enemy. Just to be confident that even when I don't know what to pray, God has made provision is amazing. It would probably be better if I don't know what to pray more often because it says the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God. Wow! If I can just recognize when it is a spiritual battle and not a fleshly one and say "Good try but here's what God's word says..." and replace lies with truth I will not be left bleeding but will be standing firm unshaken. That is my prayer. It is so important that I do this not only for me but for my children.
Romans 8
26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose.
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[j]
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Enjoy this song by Kari Jobe...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbSMfL5LuSo
~Michelle
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Between the Altar and the Door
This blog post has taken quite some time to make it to the computer. It has been on my mind and just as I'm ready to start writing something else will happen that I need to ponder. Now you probably have seen that I am a runner. I love to run. However, sometimes my favorite part of running is when I am not running. I love the feeling of accomplishment after a long run. I do have to say that I use my running time especially if I'm alone to worship God and to meditate. I solve many problems in my mind as my feet pound the pavement. The hardest part of running is the time between my decision to run and the point I actually make it out the door. There are a lot of thought processes that occur during that time...thoughts like "I really need to sleep", "it's really hot outside", "11 miles!!! Have I lost my mind???"
As I think about this, my mind relates this struggle to get out the door to other life experiences. It seems I can always tie running in somehow! The truth is that we make up our mind to do things and then somewhere between that decision and the "doing" we lose our determination, our resolve, our "want to". It sounds good and it's what we know we need to do but what happens to our follow through? I believe it is fear. I believe it is more specifically fear of failure. I for one do not like to fail! I have this drive in me that says "I will not be outdone". I got that from my Mother. But what if there is a chance of me failing? Well, I probably will not try. I know there is this saying that goes something like "to fail is to not have tried". I also know that is true. However, what if I do fail? Well, contrary to my crazy thoughts, the sun will still come up. Life will go on. God will still love me. I will still be who I am. I will get up and try again.
Wrapped up in our fear of failure is the misconception that if we aren't perfect, we are a failure. Wow! I think this is what keeps so many people from reaching their potential in life and as a Christian. I was talking to someone the other day about nutrition and she was about to begin an AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge. She said to me, "one of my problems is that if I mess up, I think I've completely blown it and I just give up". How sad is it that we do this same thing in many areas of our life. That's why there are so many failed "diets", failed marriages, failed recoveries from addiction, failed fill in the blanks... Somehow our society has painted a picture of perfection as the norm and if you can't reach that, you might as well give up. You're a failure. Not true!!! The truth is those people who appear perfect to you are just as flawed as you. The difference is they don't give up when they do mess up or they hide it really well. Also we have to remember the truth in the saying "Rome was not built in a day". It takes time to get anywhere worth going. There will be days that it doesn't feel like any progress is being made. Stay the course.
I feel like I am rambling with this and not sure it is even making sense. It sounded good in my head. :) The bottom line of what I'm trying to say is don't be afraid to commit to God because you are afraid you won't be able to do everything right. Guess what...you won't. You will mess up. You will probably mess up daily. You will need Him to help you. That is His plan! He turns your mess into His message. He takes your failures and makes them into your testimony. Don't be afraid to take that better job. Don't be afraid to make that life change to a healthier you. Don't be afraid to put on those running shoes and start that journey...you can even walk some if you need to...:)
Make that decision in your mind and have determination to see it through even when you have a setback. Even when it is hard. Pray and run the race set before you.
Enjoy this song by Casting Crowns
~Michelle
As I think about this, my mind relates this struggle to get out the door to other life experiences. It seems I can always tie running in somehow! The truth is that we make up our mind to do things and then somewhere between that decision and the "doing" we lose our determination, our resolve, our "want to". It sounds good and it's what we know we need to do but what happens to our follow through? I believe it is fear. I believe it is more specifically fear of failure. I for one do not like to fail! I have this drive in me that says "I will not be outdone". I got that from my Mother. But what if there is a chance of me failing? Well, I probably will not try. I know there is this saying that goes something like "to fail is to not have tried". I also know that is true. However, what if I do fail? Well, contrary to my crazy thoughts, the sun will still come up. Life will go on. God will still love me. I will still be who I am. I will get up and try again.
Wrapped up in our fear of failure is the misconception that if we aren't perfect, we are a failure. Wow! I think this is what keeps so many people from reaching their potential in life and as a Christian. I was talking to someone the other day about nutrition and she was about to begin an AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge. She said to me, "one of my problems is that if I mess up, I think I've completely blown it and I just give up". How sad is it that we do this same thing in many areas of our life. That's why there are so many failed "diets", failed marriages, failed recoveries from addiction, failed fill in the blanks... Somehow our society has painted a picture of perfection as the norm and if you can't reach that, you might as well give up. You're a failure. Not true!!! The truth is those people who appear perfect to you are just as flawed as you. The difference is they don't give up when they do mess up or they hide it really well. Also we have to remember the truth in the saying "Rome was not built in a day". It takes time to get anywhere worth going. There will be days that it doesn't feel like any progress is being made. Stay the course.
I feel like I am rambling with this and not sure it is even making sense. It sounded good in my head. :) The bottom line of what I'm trying to say is don't be afraid to commit to God because you are afraid you won't be able to do everything right. Guess what...you won't. You will mess up. You will probably mess up daily. You will need Him to help you. That is His plan! He turns your mess into His message. He takes your failures and makes them into your testimony. Don't be afraid to take that better job. Don't be afraid to make that life change to a healthier you. Don't be afraid to put on those running shoes and start that journey...you can even walk some if you need to...:)
Make that decision in your mind and have determination to see it through even when you have a setback. Even when it is hard. Pray and run the race set before you.
Enjoy this song by Casting Crowns
~Michelle
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