So...this is my first attempt at "blogging". I am not usually a writer but have found that if I can process it and put it on paper (or computer screen lol), I can deal with it better. My hope is that in the midst of my "processing" I will be able to encourage, inspire, entertain, and/or say something that will be of help to someone else.
God has given me many gifts in this life and upon first glance they appeared as challenges. The last few months I have been given an unconfirmed diagnosis of Multiple Schlerosis and Jacob has been given a diagnosis of Autism (last week). The first bout with MS was quite a challenge to me but then to find out that what I thought was "odd" in my child had a different, very popular name called Autism was quite a blow. It has taken me several days to wrap my head around the combination of those 2 in our family and how our daily lives have and will continue to change. I knew in my heart but to hear a professional tell me was so much more.
My goal everyday is to look past the challenge and see the blessing. I know the blessings are there. Sometimes it is not hard to see. When I listen to the same Casting Crown CD 345 times in a 2 week period, that's a challenge for me. Whew! I am not a repetitive person at all. God gives me an Autistic child who is prone to repetition. Go figure...it's that sense of humor God has. The blessing in that is as he is listening to this CD over and over and over...as we all are listenting to this CD OVER AND OVER AND OVER because we can't jump out of a car moving down the interstate as tempting as it may be... we are hearing the name of Jesus lifted high and we are transforming our minds daily because you can't listen to that and not be positive and uplifted.
Sometimes the blessings are a little harder to see. When I have spent the day unable to utter a word, only sounds will come out, and I am completely exhausted because I still had to work (tax season goes on), it is quite hard to find a blessing. However, as I ponder the day...yes, I am a ponderer...all the people who helped me make it through that day come to my mind. Now, I am not superhuman, I do get very frustrated at times. I need to say something and cannot and yes, that is frustrating. It is then that I have to communicate with God and ask for His grace. Thank goodness He can read my mind...well I'm not always glad of that...but at times I am. Sometimes I just need a little dose of His calmness. If I can communicate without words His peace in the midst of my storm to others, that is my most coveted blessing.
I don't have a lot of time today to write. Tonight is Gracie's annual "Birthday Party at the Campground" that was started last year. Her birthday is March 29th so we never get to celebrate until after April 15th so I have some major making up to do. We go all out for our little princess...well, we make her think it's for her but we all love a campground. :) Tonight I will spend the night with 8 little girls and my best friend, party planner extradinaire Amy Martin in our travel trailer. We will have a campfire, we will make smores, we will eat pizza, we will watch a movie, we will play Wii Dance Party, we will have FUN!!!!! And I will pray that Jacob has just as much fun on his night with Daddy and is not anxious about being away from Mommy and Gracie.
I would like to end with a link to a YouTube video of Laura Story's song "Blessings". This would definitely summarize my life today.
http://youtu.be/1CSVqHcdhXQ
What if your blessings come through raindrops, what if your healing comes through tears, what if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know You're near, What if the trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise...
~Michelle
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