I originally wrote this May 13, 2011...that was a time when satan had by all appearances destroyed my marriage but Praise God, he did not have the last word. We divorced December 27, 2010 and were remarried September 2, 2011 so this post was right in the middle of that time. It was a time of truly brokeness for me. One day I will post about all that...it will take a while. This post was before MS and Jacob's autism diagnosis so it was a great reminder for me as I found it today.
********************************************************************************
Life is just so hard sometimes. It seems things are fine and progress is being made and then it all changes in a matter of seconds. As I ponder this and try to comprehend things, I realize there is really no way to make sense of it all. There is no way to make sense of it because it is a spiritual battle, one that can only be seen when looked at in light of eternity. The powers of darkness lay in wait for that moment when they can reek havoc in such a way to bewilder, wound and render ineffective those who are seeking God's will. If I can just take hold of the words from Romans 8, I will not allow any ground to the enemy. Just to be confident that even when I don't know what to pray, God has made provision is amazing. It would probably be better if I don't know what to pray more often because it says the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God. Wow! If I can just recognize when it is a spiritual battle and not a fleshly one and say "Good try but here's what God's word says..." and replace lies with truth I will not be left bleeding but will be standing firm unshaken. That is my prayer. It is so important that I do this not only for me but for my children.
Romans 8
26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose.
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[j]
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Enjoy this song by Kari Jobe...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbSMfL5LuSo
~Michelle
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Between the Altar and the Door
This blog post has taken quite some time to make it to the computer. It has been on my mind and just as I'm ready to start writing something else will happen that I need to ponder. Now you probably have seen that I am a runner. I love to run. However, sometimes my favorite part of running is when I am not running. I love the feeling of accomplishment after a long run. I do have to say that I use my running time especially if I'm alone to worship God and to meditate. I solve many problems in my mind as my feet pound the pavement. The hardest part of running is the time between my decision to run and the point I actually make it out the door. There are a lot of thought processes that occur during that time...thoughts like "I really need to sleep", "it's really hot outside", "11 miles!!! Have I lost my mind???"
As I think about this, my mind relates this struggle to get out the door to other life experiences. It seems I can always tie running in somehow! The truth is that we make up our mind to do things and then somewhere between that decision and the "doing" we lose our determination, our resolve, our "want to". It sounds good and it's what we know we need to do but what happens to our follow through? I believe it is fear. I believe it is more specifically fear of failure. I for one do not like to fail! I have this drive in me that says "I will not be outdone". I got that from my Mother. But what if there is a chance of me failing? Well, I probably will not try. I know there is this saying that goes something like "to fail is to not have tried". I also know that is true. However, what if I do fail? Well, contrary to my crazy thoughts, the sun will still come up. Life will go on. God will still love me. I will still be who I am. I will get up and try again.
Wrapped up in our fear of failure is the misconception that if we aren't perfect, we are a failure. Wow! I think this is what keeps so many people from reaching their potential in life and as a Christian. I was talking to someone the other day about nutrition and she was about to begin an AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge. She said to me, "one of my problems is that if I mess up, I think I've completely blown it and I just give up". How sad is it that we do this same thing in many areas of our life. That's why there are so many failed "diets", failed marriages, failed recoveries from addiction, failed fill in the blanks... Somehow our society has painted a picture of perfection as the norm and if you can't reach that, you might as well give up. You're a failure. Not true!!! The truth is those people who appear perfect to you are just as flawed as you. The difference is they don't give up when they do mess up or they hide it really well. Also we have to remember the truth in the saying "Rome was not built in a day". It takes time to get anywhere worth going. There will be days that it doesn't feel like any progress is being made. Stay the course.
I feel like I am rambling with this and not sure it is even making sense. It sounded good in my head. :) The bottom line of what I'm trying to say is don't be afraid to commit to God because you are afraid you won't be able to do everything right. Guess what...you won't. You will mess up. You will probably mess up daily. You will need Him to help you. That is His plan! He turns your mess into His message. He takes your failures and makes them into your testimony. Don't be afraid to take that better job. Don't be afraid to make that life change to a healthier you. Don't be afraid to put on those running shoes and start that journey...you can even walk some if you need to...:)
Make that decision in your mind and have determination to see it through even when you have a setback. Even when it is hard. Pray and run the race set before you.
Enjoy this song by Casting Crowns
~Michelle
As I think about this, my mind relates this struggle to get out the door to other life experiences. It seems I can always tie running in somehow! The truth is that we make up our mind to do things and then somewhere between that decision and the "doing" we lose our determination, our resolve, our "want to". It sounds good and it's what we know we need to do but what happens to our follow through? I believe it is fear. I believe it is more specifically fear of failure. I for one do not like to fail! I have this drive in me that says "I will not be outdone". I got that from my Mother. But what if there is a chance of me failing? Well, I probably will not try. I know there is this saying that goes something like "to fail is to not have tried". I also know that is true. However, what if I do fail? Well, contrary to my crazy thoughts, the sun will still come up. Life will go on. God will still love me. I will still be who I am. I will get up and try again.
Wrapped up in our fear of failure is the misconception that if we aren't perfect, we are a failure. Wow! I think this is what keeps so many people from reaching their potential in life and as a Christian. I was talking to someone the other day about nutrition and she was about to begin an AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge. She said to me, "one of my problems is that if I mess up, I think I've completely blown it and I just give up". How sad is it that we do this same thing in many areas of our life. That's why there are so many failed "diets", failed marriages, failed recoveries from addiction, failed fill in the blanks... Somehow our society has painted a picture of perfection as the norm and if you can't reach that, you might as well give up. You're a failure. Not true!!! The truth is those people who appear perfect to you are just as flawed as you. The difference is they don't give up when they do mess up or they hide it really well. Also we have to remember the truth in the saying "Rome was not built in a day". It takes time to get anywhere worth going. There will be days that it doesn't feel like any progress is being made. Stay the course.
I feel like I am rambling with this and not sure it is even making sense. It sounded good in my head. :) The bottom line of what I'm trying to say is don't be afraid to commit to God because you are afraid you won't be able to do everything right. Guess what...you won't. You will mess up. You will probably mess up daily. You will need Him to help you. That is His plan! He turns your mess into His message. He takes your failures and makes them into your testimony. Don't be afraid to take that better job. Don't be afraid to make that life change to a healthier you. Don't be afraid to put on those running shoes and start that journey...you can even walk some if you need to...:)
Make that decision in your mind and have determination to see it through even when you have a setback. Even when it is hard. Pray and run the race set before you.
Enjoy this song by Casting Crowns
~Michelle
Monday, May 20, 2013
A'int Nobody Got Time For That
In addition to being grossly grammatically incorrect, I know this title is a bit odd. However, it seems to ring so true. I came across it when my friends were sharing a funny YouTube video with me. It struck me so funny that I made it my ringtone. Here is a link:
www.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DudS-OcNtSWo%26sns%3Dgp&t=Sweet%20Brown%20(Original)
Now that is some funny stuff but it is also true. We get so wrapped up in our busy lives these days and interruptions to our routine puts us in a tailspin quite often. Probably like everyone else, I spent the whole weekend on the run. I had places to be and people to see! This was the weekend for decoration where my family is buried. Some people don't have a clue what that means so let me fill you in. Growing up it was the day of the year I most looked forward to besides Christmas. It was the day Mother would cook a big dinner, we would dress in our new dresses she had sewn and we would head to the cemetery to put flowers on the graves and see family we hadn't seen since last "3rd Sunday in May". We would then head back to our house and share that dinner with whoever came and spend the day visiting. We might even turn the air conditioner on if it were unseasonably warm that year. I loved decoration day as a kid and if we got up and it was raining, my feathers would fall as Mother said. Now, Mother is there along with Daddy, 2 brothers, all my aunts and uncles except 2 on Mother's side...so many of those people I used to see decoration day are no longer with us but their graves are decorated beautifully.
This year I had cousins who hadn't been in a while come and a couple of cousins I don't recall ever seeing so it was great fun. As we visited though I couldn't help but think about the ones who didn't have time for that. I missed them. Now, of course, there are legitimate reasons for most but it still makes me so sad that we don't have time to invest in people like we used to. My mother's sister was down from Michigan and as she pulled me to her and laid my head on her chest I was brought to tears because for a brief moment I felt the arms of my Mother around me. NOTHING compares. I have time for that.
As I pondered this today I'm sure God decided to jump right in there and see just what I do have time for. I have a very busy schedule this week because my firstborn graduates and then we leave on a cruise for a week and YOU KNOW I HAVE TIME FOR THAT!!! But do I have time for divine interruptions that might come up? Do I have time for a 40 minute telephone conversation with a client/friend who needs encouragement that goes beyond their financial question followed by a 1 hour visit from a friend I haven't heard from in at least a year but just needed to talk and maybe a hug followed by a meeting in Wal-Mart of an elderly neighbor from long ago ago who is widowed and probably just needed someone to talk to a few minutes. Inside me yells "ain't nobody got time for that" because I've got work to do and I've got a school party here and a baseball banquet there and on and on but I never want it said of me when I am finished with this life that I accomplished much but left people feeling like I didn't have time for them.
Now, I am not the talker of my family; that is my husband and while sometimes I criticize him for it, I have seen him make someone's day many times by simply having what seems to be an insignificant conversation. I think that might be covered in this verse: 1 Corinthians 1:27. I think I am so wise sometimes but God certainly takes care of that! I won't linger here because admitting to Jason that I am wrong isn't one of my strong points :-).
What do I have time for? I have to ask myself this often and make sure the answer is something that will matter long after the time has passed.
~Michelle
www.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DudS-OcNtSWo%26sns%3Dgp&t=Sweet%20Brown%20(Original)
Now that is some funny stuff but it is also true. We get so wrapped up in our busy lives these days and interruptions to our routine puts us in a tailspin quite often. Probably like everyone else, I spent the whole weekend on the run. I had places to be and people to see! This was the weekend for decoration where my family is buried. Some people don't have a clue what that means so let me fill you in. Growing up it was the day of the year I most looked forward to besides Christmas. It was the day Mother would cook a big dinner, we would dress in our new dresses she had sewn and we would head to the cemetery to put flowers on the graves and see family we hadn't seen since last "3rd Sunday in May". We would then head back to our house and share that dinner with whoever came and spend the day visiting. We might even turn the air conditioner on if it were unseasonably warm that year. I loved decoration day as a kid and if we got up and it was raining, my feathers would fall as Mother said. Now, Mother is there along with Daddy, 2 brothers, all my aunts and uncles except 2 on Mother's side...so many of those people I used to see decoration day are no longer with us but their graves are decorated beautifully.
This year I had cousins who hadn't been in a while come and a couple of cousins I don't recall ever seeing so it was great fun. As we visited though I couldn't help but think about the ones who didn't have time for that. I missed them. Now, of course, there are legitimate reasons for most but it still makes me so sad that we don't have time to invest in people like we used to. My mother's sister was down from Michigan and as she pulled me to her and laid my head on her chest I was brought to tears because for a brief moment I felt the arms of my Mother around me. NOTHING compares. I have time for that.
As I pondered this today I'm sure God decided to jump right in there and see just what I do have time for. I have a very busy schedule this week because my firstborn graduates and then we leave on a cruise for a week and YOU KNOW I HAVE TIME FOR THAT!!! But do I have time for divine interruptions that might come up? Do I have time for a 40 minute telephone conversation with a client/friend who needs encouragement that goes beyond their financial question followed by a 1 hour visit from a friend I haven't heard from in at least a year but just needed to talk and maybe a hug followed by a meeting in Wal-Mart of an elderly neighbor from long ago ago who is widowed and probably just needed someone to talk to a few minutes. Inside me yells "ain't nobody got time for that" because I've got work to do and I've got a school party here and a baseball banquet there and on and on but I never want it said of me when I am finished with this life that I accomplished much but left people feeling like I didn't have time for them.
Now, I am not the talker of my family; that is my husband and while sometimes I criticize him for it, I have seen him make someone's day many times by simply having what seems to be an insignificant conversation. I think that might be covered in this verse: 1 Corinthians 1:27. I think I am so wise sometimes but God certainly takes care of that! I won't linger here because admitting to Jason that I am wrong isn't one of my strong points :-).
What do I have time for? I have to ask myself this often and make sure the answer is something that will matter long after the time has passed.
~Michelle
Thursday, May 9, 2013
M is for the Many Things She Gave Me...
I'm a little late getting started on this one. I am, as everyone else is, thinking of Mother's Day coming up this weekend. Mother's Day is quite different for me than it used to be. When I was a little girl my mother taught me this song as she sang it about her mother, affectionately known as Grandmother. As you might imagine, I was more than delighted when Gracie came home from school with this Mother's Day card for me. It took me right back.
Now Grandmother lived up to every bit of that name. She was grand! I loved her with everything in me as a little girl and really thought life would not go on at the age of 7 when she moved on to Heaven. But, of course, it did. I certainly felt the same on May 12, 2006 when Mother went to be with her and we put her body to rest on Mother's Day that year. Now, if you knew my mother you would understand the significance of that. She was a character and nothing would be more fitting for her than to be buried on Mother's Day. She would have had great pleasure in having us all together that day to see her. Her view that day was grand I'm sure.
Now on to the little song...
M is for the many things she gave me...wow there's not a good place to start...many is definitely the word. I am the baby of 7 by a long time. My mother was 46 when I was born. My oldest sister is 25 years older than me. My sister closest to me in age is 9 years older. They have all called me spoiled. I can't imagine what they are talking about! Don't get me wrong, Mother did make sure I had everything I needed and most of what I wanted but what's wrong with that?!? I really don't know how she did it. Well, yes I do. She sacrificed things maybe she wanted or needed to "spoil" me as my siblings would say. I would just bet she did the same for them because that's how she was. Anyway one example that comes to mind is when I was about 8, I started taking piano lessons. Mother had been taking for a little while and she would have a 30 minute lesson and I would have 30 minutes. Gradually over a short period of time it turned I to 1 hour for me and nothing for Mother. She was such an example to me of selflessness. She never did anything begrudgingly or out of what appeared as obligation. Everything she did for others was out of genuine love. The many things she gave me included material things but so much more.
She gave me unconditional love. Even when I rebelled as a teenager, her love and care for me never wavered. Even when she didn't agree with what I was doing, she made sure she was there to support me knowing it wouldn't turn out well but also knowing that I was young and had to learn some things on my own due to my stubborn nature that might have come from her just a little bit. She was right, it didn't turn out well and then she was there to support me and love me without ever saying, "I tried to tell you". Well, maybe she said it once or twice but you know...she was entitled. :)
She gave me self confidence. She always told me you can do anything you want to do. She not only told me but showed me when at 60 years old she enrolled in GED classes at the local trade school and passed her GED with flying colors and then went on to nursing school. She was an inspiration.
She gave me determination. You don't quit just because it is hard. You just try harder. You just get over it. You just do it.
She gave me a strong believe in God and His faithfulness. She showed me that when people were in need you give and you know that God is faithful and He will take care of you. She would quote the scripture, Psalm 37:25 I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging for bread. I have seen her so many times go to the grocery store, get basic necessities and take to someone she knew was having a hard time. She would just show up at their house with the bags, unload, and leave. She would take money out of her purse and hand it to someone she knew was in need. She had a close relationship with the Lord and she listened to His leading in her heart.
She taught me how to laugh. To laugh at myself, to laugh at her...she was so funny!!! Just to laugh at life...laughter is the best medicine, you know. A really wise guy wrote that in a book called Proverbs.
I could go on and on.
O means only that she's growing old...she did grow old. She went on to Heaven at 81. I wish I could say she just didn't wake up one day. It wasn't that easy. I watched her waste away the last couple of years in the nursing home. She chose the nursing home because she didn't want to be a "burden". Not that we ever made her feel like a burden. Just another example of her selflessness.
T is for the tears she shed to save me...I can't imagine the tears she shed during the times of my life I was acting a fool. I know she shed many on her knees before the Lord. I also know that she prayed for Jason. I know that she shed many tears on behalf of Andrew. She always said that she was praying Andrew would be a preacher. I don't know if he will be a traditional preacher but I know her prayers will be answered in him. I know that the tears of a mother for her children touch the heart of God because he certainly says He is near to the brokenhearted.
H is for her heart of purest gold...I think I have described it well already. There was only one purer heart that has lived on this earth and that would be Jesus in my opinion.
E is for her eyes with love light shining...she always smiled with her eyes. She always smiled. I loved that smile. Such a precious gift.
R means right and right she'll always be...well, if I had a dime for everytime I said "Why didn't I just listen to Mother?" I would be well off right now. :) Yes, she will always be right and I will always remember and pass down to my children. I so regret that Jacob and Gracie will never remember her but they will know her through me.
Put them all together, they spell MOTHER, a word that means the world to me!!!
I strive to be the mother she was. If my children have half the memories and love for me that I have for her, I will have done alright! It breaks my heart to think of the people that have not experienced that in a mother and don't have that. Let's say a special prayer for them all today and perhaps as we go about our days look for opportunities to be that "mother" in their life and share that love that can only come from a mother's heart.
Enjoy this short video to lighten the mood a bit and put being a mother in perspective LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxT5NwQUtVM
~Michelle
.
Now Grandmother lived up to every bit of that name. She was grand! I loved her with everything in me as a little girl and really thought life would not go on at the age of 7 when she moved on to Heaven. But, of course, it did. I certainly felt the same on May 12, 2006 when Mother went to be with her and we put her body to rest on Mother's Day that year. Now, if you knew my mother you would understand the significance of that. She was a character and nothing would be more fitting for her than to be buried on Mother's Day. She would have had great pleasure in having us all together that day to see her. Her view that day was grand I'm sure.
Now on to the little song...
M is for the many things she gave me...wow there's not a good place to start...many is definitely the word. I am the baby of 7 by a long time. My mother was 46 when I was born. My oldest sister is 25 years older than me. My sister closest to me in age is 9 years older. They have all called me spoiled. I can't imagine what they are talking about! Don't get me wrong, Mother did make sure I had everything I needed and most of what I wanted but what's wrong with that?!? I really don't know how she did it. Well, yes I do. She sacrificed things maybe she wanted or needed to "spoil" me as my siblings would say. I would just bet she did the same for them because that's how she was. Anyway one example that comes to mind is when I was about 8, I started taking piano lessons. Mother had been taking for a little while and she would have a 30 minute lesson and I would have 30 minutes. Gradually over a short period of time it turned I to 1 hour for me and nothing for Mother. She was such an example to me of selflessness. She never did anything begrudgingly or out of what appeared as obligation. Everything she did for others was out of genuine love. The many things she gave me included material things but so much more.
She gave me unconditional love. Even when I rebelled as a teenager, her love and care for me never wavered. Even when she didn't agree with what I was doing, she made sure she was there to support me knowing it wouldn't turn out well but also knowing that I was young and had to learn some things on my own due to my stubborn nature that might have come from her just a little bit. She was right, it didn't turn out well and then she was there to support me and love me without ever saying, "I tried to tell you". Well, maybe she said it once or twice but you know...she was entitled. :)
She gave me self confidence. She always told me you can do anything you want to do. She not only told me but showed me when at 60 years old she enrolled in GED classes at the local trade school and passed her GED with flying colors and then went on to nursing school. She was an inspiration.
She gave me determination. You don't quit just because it is hard. You just try harder. You just get over it. You just do it.
She gave me a strong believe in God and His faithfulness. She showed me that when people were in need you give and you know that God is faithful and He will take care of you. She would quote the scripture, Psalm 37:25 I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging for bread. I have seen her so many times go to the grocery store, get basic necessities and take to someone she knew was having a hard time. She would just show up at their house with the bags, unload, and leave. She would take money out of her purse and hand it to someone she knew was in need. She had a close relationship with the Lord and she listened to His leading in her heart.
She taught me how to laugh. To laugh at myself, to laugh at her...she was so funny!!! Just to laugh at life...laughter is the best medicine, you know. A really wise guy wrote that in a book called Proverbs.
I could go on and on.
O means only that she's growing old...she did grow old. She went on to Heaven at 81. I wish I could say she just didn't wake up one day. It wasn't that easy. I watched her waste away the last couple of years in the nursing home. She chose the nursing home because she didn't want to be a "burden". Not that we ever made her feel like a burden. Just another example of her selflessness.
T is for the tears she shed to save me...I can't imagine the tears she shed during the times of my life I was acting a fool. I know she shed many on her knees before the Lord. I also know that she prayed for Jason. I know that she shed many tears on behalf of Andrew. She always said that she was praying Andrew would be a preacher. I don't know if he will be a traditional preacher but I know her prayers will be answered in him. I know that the tears of a mother for her children touch the heart of God because he certainly says He is near to the brokenhearted.
H is for her heart of purest gold...I think I have described it well already. There was only one purer heart that has lived on this earth and that would be Jesus in my opinion.
E is for her eyes with love light shining...she always smiled with her eyes. She always smiled. I loved that smile. Such a precious gift.
R means right and right she'll always be...well, if I had a dime for everytime I said "Why didn't I just listen to Mother?" I would be well off right now. :) Yes, she will always be right and I will always remember and pass down to my children. I so regret that Jacob and Gracie will never remember her but they will know her through me.
Put them all together, they spell MOTHER, a word that means the world to me!!!
I strive to be the mother she was. If my children have half the memories and love for me that I have for her, I will have done alright! It breaks my heart to think of the people that have not experienced that in a mother and don't have that. Let's say a special prayer for them all today and perhaps as we go about our days look for opportunities to be that "mother" in their life and share that love that can only come from a mother's heart.
Enjoy this short video to lighten the mood a bit and put being a mother in perspective LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxT5NwQUtVM
~Michelle
.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Blessings
So...this is my first attempt at "blogging". I am not usually a writer but have found that if I can process it and put it on paper (or computer screen lol), I can deal with it better. My hope is that in the midst of my "processing" I will be able to encourage, inspire, entertain, and/or say something that will be of help to someone else.
God has given me many gifts in this life and upon first glance they appeared as challenges. The last few months I have been given an unconfirmed diagnosis of Multiple Schlerosis and Jacob has been given a diagnosis of Autism (last week). The first bout with MS was quite a challenge to me but then to find out that what I thought was "odd" in my child had a different, very popular name called Autism was quite a blow. It has taken me several days to wrap my head around the combination of those 2 in our family and how our daily lives have and will continue to change. I knew in my heart but to hear a professional tell me was so much more.
My goal everyday is to look past the challenge and see the blessing. I know the blessings are there. Sometimes it is not hard to see. When I listen to the same Casting Crown CD 345 times in a 2 week period, that's a challenge for me. Whew! I am not a repetitive person at all. God gives me an Autistic child who is prone to repetition. Go figure...it's that sense of humor God has. The blessing in that is as he is listening to this CD over and over and over...as we all are listenting to this CD OVER AND OVER AND OVER because we can't jump out of a car moving down the interstate as tempting as it may be... we are hearing the name of Jesus lifted high and we are transforming our minds daily because you can't listen to that and not be positive and uplifted.
Sometimes the blessings are a little harder to see. When I have spent the day unable to utter a word, only sounds will come out, and I am completely exhausted because I still had to work (tax season goes on), it is quite hard to find a blessing. However, as I ponder the day...yes, I am a ponderer...all the people who helped me make it through that day come to my mind. Now, I am not superhuman, I do get very frustrated at times. I need to say something and cannot and yes, that is frustrating. It is then that I have to communicate with God and ask for His grace. Thank goodness He can read my mind...well I'm not always glad of that...but at times I am. Sometimes I just need a little dose of His calmness. If I can communicate without words His peace in the midst of my storm to others, that is my most coveted blessing.
I don't have a lot of time today to write. Tonight is Gracie's annual "Birthday Party at the Campground" that was started last year. Her birthday is March 29th so we never get to celebrate until after April 15th so I have some major making up to do. We go all out for our little princess...well, we make her think it's for her but we all love a campground. :) Tonight I will spend the night with 8 little girls and my best friend, party planner extradinaire Amy Martin in our travel trailer. We will have a campfire, we will make smores, we will eat pizza, we will watch a movie, we will play Wii Dance Party, we will have FUN!!!!! And I will pray that Jacob has just as much fun on his night with Daddy and is not anxious about being away from Mommy and Gracie.
I would like to end with a link to a YouTube video of Laura Story's song "Blessings". This would definitely summarize my life today.
http://youtu.be/1CSVqHcdhXQ
What if your blessings come through raindrops, what if your healing comes through tears, what if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know You're near, What if the trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise...
~Michelle
God has given me many gifts in this life and upon first glance they appeared as challenges. The last few months I have been given an unconfirmed diagnosis of Multiple Schlerosis and Jacob has been given a diagnosis of Autism (last week). The first bout with MS was quite a challenge to me but then to find out that what I thought was "odd" in my child had a different, very popular name called Autism was quite a blow. It has taken me several days to wrap my head around the combination of those 2 in our family and how our daily lives have and will continue to change. I knew in my heart but to hear a professional tell me was so much more.
My goal everyday is to look past the challenge and see the blessing. I know the blessings are there. Sometimes it is not hard to see. When I listen to the same Casting Crown CD 345 times in a 2 week period, that's a challenge for me. Whew! I am not a repetitive person at all. God gives me an Autistic child who is prone to repetition. Go figure...it's that sense of humor God has. The blessing in that is as he is listening to this CD over and over and over...as we all are listenting to this CD OVER AND OVER AND OVER because we can't jump out of a car moving down the interstate as tempting as it may be... we are hearing the name of Jesus lifted high and we are transforming our minds daily because you can't listen to that and not be positive and uplifted.
Sometimes the blessings are a little harder to see. When I have spent the day unable to utter a word, only sounds will come out, and I am completely exhausted because I still had to work (tax season goes on), it is quite hard to find a blessing. However, as I ponder the day...yes, I am a ponderer...all the people who helped me make it through that day come to my mind. Now, I am not superhuman, I do get very frustrated at times. I need to say something and cannot and yes, that is frustrating. It is then that I have to communicate with God and ask for His grace. Thank goodness He can read my mind...well I'm not always glad of that...but at times I am. Sometimes I just need a little dose of His calmness. If I can communicate without words His peace in the midst of my storm to others, that is my most coveted blessing.
I don't have a lot of time today to write. Tonight is Gracie's annual "Birthday Party at the Campground" that was started last year. Her birthday is March 29th so we never get to celebrate until after April 15th so I have some major making up to do. We go all out for our little princess...well, we make her think it's for her but we all love a campground. :) Tonight I will spend the night with 8 little girls and my best friend, party planner extradinaire Amy Martin in our travel trailer. We will have a campfire, we will make smores, we will eat pizza, we will watch a movie, we will play Wii Dance Party, we will have FUN!!!!! And I will pray that Jacob has just as much fun on his night with Daddy and is not anxious about being away from Mommy and Gracie.
I would like to end with a link to a YouTube video of Laura Story's song "Blessings". This would definitely summarize my life today.
http://youtu.be/1CSVqHcdhXQ
What if your blessings come through raindrops, what if your healing comes through tears, what if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know You're near, What if the trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise...
~Michelle
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)